Don’t Take Anything Personally

I love it.

The month that I attend a book study on The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz (Be Impeccable with Your Word, Don’t Take Anything Personally, Don’t Make Assumptions, and Always Do Your Best), it feels like a dear friend of mine has put up an impenetrable wall, an illusion of separation I feel so strongly.

Has this happened to you, too?

Isn’t it the pits?

Nada.

Nothing.

You hear no response.

There’s nothing coming from your friend anymore, she of prolific communication.

You see her posting on Facebook, and not returning YOUR Facebook messages.

Pretty swiftly, you make an assumption it’s about you.

As I did, you ask yourself what you did to offend her, taking it quite personally.

Your mind reviews your recent interactions.  Did she take offense when…?

We send a couple inquiries about our communications.

Silence.

We send emails.

No responses.

We’re left to grieve our losses, changing us from our usual joyful selves to less joyous souls.

That doesn’t last long, though, for we certainly know enough to realize that this whole drama is likely in our heads.

And in the book study, we get into the chapters on not taking anything personally and not making assumptions…indeed.

Let’s breathe.

Let’s send our friends more love.  Let’s send compassion.

I also send a birthday card with quotes I copy about friendship from a wonderful  Marianne Williamson book, The Gift of Change.

I invite friends over for angel readings, because I know that giving is receiving.

I put as much love into the world as possible.

You, too?

Or are you still stewing?

How is that serving you?

May you find a way forward.

Then…

Do you hear from your friend?

I hope you do.

My absent friend writes that she’ll call me soon.

Wow.

Very cool.

I’d love that, and I tell myself not to be nervous about what she’ll say, imagining she’ll say that something I said enticed her to build a wall between us.

A week goes by.

Have you heard from your friend, yet?

OMG.

Mine called today!

Don Miguel truly understands people, and he knows his subject matter, folks.  Read his book, The Four Agreements…it’s wonderful, simple, yet so powerful.

Ah hah!

Did your friend call, too?  Or let you know something like this?

My friend was in her own process, and it totally wasn’t about me!

That needs to be repeated and emphasized.

My friend was in her own process, and it totally wasn’t about me.

She loves me.

She never stopped loving me.

She just didn’t have the energy or time to connect, because she was deeply involved in her own journey.

Sweet friend.

I’m sorry you were so challenged, and you couldn’t reach out to me, until you could.

How great to connect with you again.

Yes, I took it personally.  I thought you’d left our friendship.

 

Welcome home.